Thursday, January 12, 2012

Back again...again...and again...I think

“Been a long time.”  Seems like I’ve said that an awful lot on this blog and I hope/pray that I’ll not be saying it again for a while.  It would be easy for me to say, “You know, between seminary, commuting 500 miles a week to said seminary, pastoring two churches, and of course, being a father and husband, I’ve just been way too busy for this.”  Which would be very understandable and mostly true.  However, I’ve written so much for the blog over the past year, so there’s been time enough for it and the creative juices have certainly been flowing, but wow.  I kind of hit a point with so many blogs out there that I really just questioned the wisdom and even my own personal integrity of continuing to add my voice to all of the noise out there.

It seems that so many of them, especially the “Christian” ones, are little more than vanity projects.  Look at me!  Believe like me!  I’ve discovered a new, hip version of Christianity! Let me show you why I’m better, smarter, and more loved by God than you!  I read most of it and frankly, I just sorta, kinda want to bury my head.  There is a pretty large part of me that has grown to despise the pervasive blog culture, especially of those called “Christian”.  Do understand that I am not holding all of them in such judgment, there are some very good, powerful, and thought provoking one’s out there.  Also understand, that in saying such things, it’s really my own neurotic way of throwing myself under the bright light of inspection to determine if I am or am in the process of becoming that which I despise…the overblown, puffed up, self righteous, self important Christian blogger.  And you know what?  Maybe I am, although I hold out hope that because I find myself worrying about such things that it is proof enough to the contrary…kind of like you know you’re not crazy if you’re actually worried about being crazy because the truly crazy would never concern themselves with such things.  Or something like that.

The truth of the matter is that I just really don’t know.  I look at some of the stuff I’ve posted on here and I kind of cringe, while there’s other things on here that I really like, but for the most part, I didn’t find anything overtly pretentious.  However, I am still in process of determining not only the validity of this particular blog, but also that of my reasons for keeping it.  So, it is with these thoughts, these concerns that I will tentatively set out to keeping the blog at the very least, semi active.  If ever I do have reasonable cause to believe that I’ve crossed the particular line that I so desperately seek to distance myself from, “The Cantankerous Christian” will be no more.

Finally, much has changed.  Seminary really seems to have a tendency to do that, not to mention pastoring two churches.  Such things really have a way of changing perspectives and priorities, and I say my experience as both a seminarian has been wholly, or is it holy (lol), positive.  Both have proven to be blessings beyond anything I could have ever imagined.  I feel like there has been a maturing not only of me as a person and a child of God, but a maturing and deeper maturation of my theology and faith.  I hope to be able to bring this to The Cantankerous Christian as we attempt to get this going again.

Oh, and before I go, worry not…I’m still PLENTY cantankerous.  I just like to think it’s better aimed and more finely tuned.  Be on the lookout for “The Destruction of Christmas”.
Cantankerously Yours,